![]() ![]() ![]() The building is filled with fear and anticipation I Sexually Identify as an Attack HelicopterĪLERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!īystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The force now propels you forward and upward. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. ![]()
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